Time To Relax

That is right, this week I’m going to relax.  In fact, I’m so determined to do so  that I’ve taken the week off from work to spend more time with the family.  Now, that isn’t to say that I’m not going to be doing any work during this week around the house.  But, what I’m trying to say is that I’m not going to be at work, and my focus isn’t going to be doing stuff – but instead it's going to be hanging out with the kids and doing things with them. 

Why am I doing this?  Because frankly,  we all need a break.  We all need time to let ourselves take a break from day-to-day grind and recharge our batteries.  Last year I took the week off between Christmas and New Years as well and I found it really helped me start the new year out right.  So, why not do it again.

So today’s lesson is that we all need to go ahead and take a break from time to time. If we truly want to be on the top of our game, then a break from time to time is required.  And so, if you aren’t taking a break this week, I suggest maybe you think about doing so soon.  Recharge those batteries, you’ll be stronger in the long run.

It’s Almost Time For A Party

That is right, we’re less than a week away from the holiday that celebrates Jesus’ birth!  How exciting is this day?!

That’s right, it’s not about the presents we get, the lights we put up, Santa, Rudolph, or even spending time with our families.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I love all of those things.  But, the most important thing – the thing we should be focused on…is the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

He was sent to the earth to not only to show you how to have a relationship with God the Father, but to die to make sure we should get to Heaven!  How selfless is that?

So, this week I just want to make sure we retain our focus this holiday season.  It’s almost Christmas time.  Let’s celebrate the Baby Boy who came here to save us all!

Merry Christmas!

Lights!

Years ago when my kids were first old enough to do it, our family started playing a game we call lights.  What it requires is family members to be in the car, and for Christmas lights to be on at people’s houses as we pass by.  The first person to spot the lights and declare that they’ve seen them gets a point.  Now, frankly we don’t keep score, instead it’s just something fun to do.  It’s something we do as a family, and other than the gas – it costs us nothing.  The thing is, we don’t go out just to play, we play everywhere and anywhere we go when the lights are up this time of year.

Why do I mention this?  It’s because one of my focuses in this blog is helping people with their family lives.  This is something you can do as a family that is cheap and just adds to something you’d already be doing.  The goal should be to keep growing together as a family.

Oh, and I forgot to mention this earlier….once you do this a few times, you don’t need to remember to do it.  The kids will remember.  In fact, not only will they remember the next car ride, but they’ll also remember the next year when the lights come on again.  Kids love this kind of thing, and the fact that you do it together will build a lasting memory that they’ll enjoy for the rest of their lives.  It may even create a family tradition, as it has in my family. 

So what are you waiting for?  It’s time to play LIGHTS!

Giving Like No One Else

I’m pretty sure that every time I write about money on here I mention the name Dave Ramsey.  He’s a financial counselor whom I listen to almost daily on his nationally syndicated radio program and whose teachings I subscribe to in my financial life.  The title of today’s Momentum comes from a promotion that Dave is running on his web site:  www.daveramsey.com. 

Dave and his team are giving away all kinds of different items to people who enter each and every day of the promotion.  This promotion is something that I enter every day, even though I’ve never won anything from all of my entries. 

I mention this promotion for two reasons.  #1 is that I want to share the opportunity with all of you, even if it hurts my chances.  The more of you that enter, the harder it is for me to win, right?  Still, I try to be selfless, lol.  #2 is that I want to be giving like this someday.  Now I don’t think that I’ll ever have my own program and be giving out all of this stuff, but it’s the idea that I really like.  I would love to someday have the ability to bless others with things that they want or need.  I long for the day when I can give the waitress/waiter a $100 bill as a tip just because they provided good service at the restaurant.  Or to see someone who has a need and make a payment for them, etc.

My question today is, shouldn't these be the goals of all of us?  Shouldn’t we all want to get out of debt and then be able to bless others who are less fortunate than we?  Wouldn’t it be cool if all we asked in return from those whom we bless is that they someday pay it forward (great movie btw) and bless someone else when they are in the position to do so as well?  What kind of world would we live in if God's people were all blessing each other, and all working our way out of the bondage known as debt?

As this holiday season kicks into full gear I’d like to encourage all of you to give if you can this holiday season.  There are numerous people who need coats, food, and shelter in your area.  Find ways to donate items, food, or money to organizations like a food bank or Salvation Army that help those who are less fortunate.  It’s time that we all grasp the holiday spirit with both hands and open our hearts to those in need, just like Dave is doing – to bless one another.

Yep, I was there!

On Thursday and Friday I was one of the crazy people who were out shopping the Black Friday deals.  I’d researched the deals for at least a month and had a full game plan in hand when we went to do our shopping.  I didn’t feel that we had to wait in line for hours before a store opened for anything we wanted to get.  We just went for some good deals and fun with one another.

For the most part our experience was very positive.  Other than the guy Noah is calling Godzilla who knocked him over at Wal-Mart by diving at the video game display, everyone else was really nice.  The workers weren’t all that stressed overall and were friendly.  We lasted over 7 hours out shopping before we called it a day.  That is 7 hours without sleep in fact – when we normally would have been sleeping.  Yes, crazy – I know!

I bring all of this up because I wanted to point out that there is a good way and a bad way to do things like Black Friday shopping.  We went prepared knowing what was on sale and even used store maps when available to know where the deals would be before we stepped into the stores.  We’d also scouted out some of the stuff the weekend prior so we knew sizes to buy, etc.  We were prepared, we knew what we wanted, and we went out and got it.  Sure, there were some changes to the plan due to circumstances, but being prepared the way we were allowed us to adjust on the fly without any major issues in doing so

How often do you have a game plan when it comes to your spiritual life?  Do you have a plan on what you’d like to study in His word?  Do you plan out that you’ll pray every morning while at breakfast or at the coffee shop?  Do you make Jesus a priority and make sure you get the time with Him that you really desire?  Sure things will happen to get in the way or change your plans, but when you have a plan of attack you’ll get what you want in this area as well. 

If you truly desire a life with God that has Him at the center and not you, then you have to be prepared.  You have to have a game plan and execute it.  If you are prepared for studying the Bible, prayer, fellowship with others, etc. etc., then you’ll be able to easily handle bumps that come in your spiritual path and still get the most out of your spiritual walk with Jesus.

Are You Chicken, or Just a Big Turkey?

So why is it that we often have problems witnessing to those in our own extended families?  Why is it that we have a loved one who needs Jesus in their life, and instead of talking to them about that we talk about everything else when we see them?  Why can we go up to a neighbor or a complete stranger and discuss God but not a family member?

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we’ll be seeing those family members time and time again and we are afraid of rejection.  Yes, we’re just big turkeys!  Instead of insuring those that we love are with us in Heaven, we talk about the weather and our kids.  We have a problem fulfilling our calling from God because we don’t want them to reject our ways, or look down on us the next time we see them. 

Here is the biggest question this week:  What if God wants you to be the closer on this job.  Maybe He has you set up to be the one who seals the deal.  Then again, maybe you are the spark that lights the fire in their heart for God!  How can you not talk to that family member when you see them over the upcoming holidays?  It’s much better to eat a turkey this Thanksgiving than be one yourself!

Have a blessed time with your families this Thanksgiving, everyone!

Gift Giving Time

Well, it’s that time of year again.  The Christmas music has already begun in some stores, and they are lining up to take our money for the many gifts we’re all going to be buying this year.  Now I’m a shopper, so I enjoy this time of year.  I enjoy searching for deals and getting my family gifts that they’ll enjoy at lower prices so that I can buy them more gifts.  I like meeting people while I’m shopping…the general good mood that most people are in (there are exceptions). 

With all of that said, I would like to point out one thing.  As much as I love to give gifts to my family, the best gift I can give them is my showing them how to have God as a part of their lives and discipling them through that relationship.  I know that often I write about reaching others for Christ, and most of the time that focuses on those in the community, at work, etc.  Well, your most attentive audience is probably in your own home, and often we do a horrible job at discipling them because we think they are just going to do what we do.

This week, I just want to remind everyone to be intentional as you go through this holiday season.  Make sure that your family knows not just that you are a Christian, but also WHY you are a Christian and how you live that life every day.  Don’t just assume that they know.  It takes practice for all of us to grow as Christians, but it also takes instruction for us to show others the right way to live their lives.

This is one gift you can give this Christmas that will keep on giving.              

I Have A Cold

For the last few days I've had a cold.  It hasn't stopped me from doing anything, but it just has lingered and has me really run down.  I've got the classic sore throat, congestion, cough, etc.

Obviously, the way to get rid of a cold is to take some medicine to assist your immune system with fighting off the symptoms.  That is exactly what I'm doing, and I know that eventually this cold will go away.  I also realize that I'll probably get another cold at some point this winter as well.

I mention the cold that I have because it reminded me of something from my spiritual life.  There are times when I get run down when it comes to doing the things I should be doing for God.  I just don't feel like reading the Bible, praying, witnesing, etc.  I know the symptoms and I know how to fix the problem.  Yet, just like when I get a cold, sometimes it takes me a few days before I wake up to the problem and start to apply the solution.

Do you ever get that way in your spiritual life?  Do you go through times when you aren't your normal self and realize that fact, and still take some time to fix it?

Today I'd just like to leave you with this:  when you know the problem, the quicker you apply the solution the quicker the problem will go away.  It's just like this cold I have.  I didn't start taking medicine the first day I noticed the cold, but instead waited a few days.  Now, it's been awhile and I still have the cold.  Would I have started the meds earlier then maybe I'd be done with this all, but instead am still fighting off the cold.  Be smarter than me with this cold....apply the solutions and get yourself back to full strength right away!

A Halloween Review

7 Billion Dollars

That is how much money is estimated to be spent by Americans for Halloween THIS year. 

That is how much money was spent THIS year with huge unemployment numbers in this country.

That is how much money was spent THIS year with tons of people in personal bankruptcy, in foreclosure, etc.

Now I’m never going to be the person to tell you how to spend your money.  I don’t know your personal budget after all.  Yet I find it hard to believe that the cities, schools, and churches are cutting budgets all over the place in this economy, and yet everyone will have candy, decorations, etc. this year.  Does anyone else see a problem with this?

If we’re really going to live the way God wants us to live our lives, we need to be smart with our money.  We need to prioritize with our money better than this!  We’re putting ourselves before God, and then we wonder why we’re not blessed. 

I know that normally I try to put a pretty little bow on these blogs, but this week I just can’t do it.  We need to be smarter with our money, and this Halloween is just another example of where the priorities of the majority of Americans really are.   We may be keeping America’s economy alive with all the spending, but God’s economy is left behind. If we truly want to live the life that God has for us, maybe we need to examine our finances and see who we’re really serving.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Last week my wife Traci made homemade chocolate chip cookies.  I’m sure everyone remembers the smell coming from the oven, and the great taste they have just out of the oven.  If they are made correctly the chips melt even days later when you eat one.  They are just a wonderful thing to have, even if they aren’t too wonderful for you.

As I was eating one of the chocolate chip cookies the other day I thought about how much I enjoyed that cookie.  The flavor was just perfect, they were not burnt at all, and the chips were melting just perfectly .  Then I related this to my Christian walk.  How at times I just have it perfect.  I’m fully experiencing the love of my Heavenly Father, and it melts in my mouth.  I experience it like the cookie, almost like it’s a little hug from the person who made it. 

The other thought about that cookie and its relationship  to my Christian walk is that oftentimes I enjoy it so much that I don’t want to share.  Yet, when I do share, I get to pass on the love to others who will enjoy it as much as I do.  Why wouldn’t I want to share that cookie, or God’s love, with others?  Why wouldn’t you?

Rate It!

Have you ever looked something up on the internet before you purchased it to see what others who own that same thing think about it? Have you ever noticed that the majority of the time there are more negative comments than there are positive? Why is that?
I’d say that there are more negative comments because oftentimes the unhappy people are the ones who make the biggest fuss. Instead of us celebrating something we really like and enjoy, we keep that happiness to ourselves, while those who are unhappy rant and rave and make everyone know they are unhappy.

The point I’m trying to make this week is that maybe we need to start showing joy a lot more than we do. If we’re truly happy with the Christian lives we’re living, why don’t we show that in everything we do? Why can’t others see it in us all the time?

It’s time to start drowning out the negative and expressing our happiness with God and our relationships with Him. If we do that, just maybe others will want to be a part of this life as well.

Determination

This past weekend as I stood on top of my roof I had one thought going through my head, I gotta get this work done so I can get off of here!  That is right, at that point I was determined to get the work done.  What got me there, let me explain.

So at least two months ago I decided that I was tired of paying Time Warner Cable for TV channels.  I was looking for ways to cut some costs and I found alternatives to allow our family to still see some TV shows we enjoyed.  The only thing we were really going to miss was sports.  Then a little over a week ago, after weeks of research, I purchased a TV antenna for my house that would hopefully get us at least the main 4-5 local channels I wanted, which would allow us some football games, etc.

So on Thursday I had a friend come over and we worked on putting the antenna in the attic.  We got everything hooked up just fine, but the results were bad.  We didn’t get much of anything receptionwise, and after a few hours of work we gave up for the night.  I then went and continued researching what to do, and finally resolved that I’d have to put the antenna outside on the roof.  I’d avoided that because I’m not a lover of heights, and I didn’t know what I was doing.  Well, after much research Saturday came along and I had everything I needed to get the job done.  A different friend was there to hand me whatever I needed, but I was going to be the one on the roof doing the job.  I had two choices, either not do it that day, or do it myself.   Well, I was determined to get the work done as I didn’t think we’d get another nice day like that when I had the time, so I took the steps up the ladder and got up on the roof.  Long story short, I now have an antenna up on my roof that is properly wired and securely attached and it’s something I accomplished even though I’m not all that handy overall.

Upon reflecting on this adventure I was able to get a perspective that I didn’t expect at the time but have come to appreciate since.  When we’re determined to do something, we can accomplish our goals even if we didn’t know how to accomplish that goal prior to doing the work.  I was determined to get a clear signal for my house.  I was determined to do it right the first time.  I was also determined not to be rushed to the ER from falling off the roof! 

How often are we as Christians determined to accomplish a goal?  How often are we determined to reach someone for His kingdom?  How often are we determined to do that one thing that we feel He’s asking us to do in order for others to do their part for the kingdom of God?  This weekend I was determined, God gave me the great conditions to work in, and not only did I accomplish my goal, but we also receive a number of other channels I had never even hoped to receive.  You see that my determination to complete the goal not only allowed me to reach the finish line, but I received more than I could have imagined before.  What if we actually completed all the goals that God gave us to achieve?!  Do you think we’d all be even more blessed than we hope?  Do you think the kingdom would be blessed?  Are you willing to be determined for God and achieve His goals?

Joy

I know that I’ve been talking about my kids a lot lately on here, but what can I say?  I really enjoy them and my daily dealings with them give me some ideas for the blog, so here I am writing about them again.

This weekend I really got to experience joy.  I had all three kids in action at their sports.  I got to watch them all play well and do well for their teams.  Abby played soccer Saturday morning in the rain and mud, and although she didn’t score any goals, she braved the elements and ran all over the field, only days after having a cold that she was still trying to get over.  Sunday Andrew’s U9 B division soccer team finished up an undefeated season with him as the starting goalie for the team.  Andrew played very well all season and really has improved throughout the year.  After that game I was able to watch Noah and his 6^th grade football team win their first game of the season.  He couldn’t be stopped by the opposing team and really led the charge for the defense and played very well on offense as well.

Why do I mention this?  Is it just to brag on my children?  (Which I’m very happy to do btw!)  Because of that joy I was able to experience.  As I was looking back at the day that was, I started to reflect about what kind of joy we give God daily.  Does my working hard at my job give Him that kind of joy?  When I spend time with my kids does that give Him joy?  What about when I do well playing a sport, leading a Bible study, praying with others, spending time with my wife, etc.?  The answer – YES! 

How great it must be to experience as much joy as God does, eh?  I only got a glimmer of that joy this weekend, and He has billions of people He gets joy from!  Yet, when I experienced the joy that I did, I had a hint of what it’s like to be Him. 

What have you gotten joy from lately?

Everything I know on parenting, I learned from Bill Cosby

A couple weeks ago we cancelled our cable at home.  We decided that we could live watching shows on Hulu, Netflix, etc. and cut a ton of our costs.  One of the shows that our kids have been watching through each and every episode of every season is The Cosby Show.  I remember when this show was first on and watching it with my parents.  I’ve constantly referenced it since then when I’ve been raising the kids, and so they wanted to watch the episodes. 

Well, almost every episode one of my kids will turn to me and say that I’ve either said or done the same thing that they just watched on TV.  It cracks me up as they are so right…I really did take a lot more away from that show than I ever thought.  I often treat my kids the same way, and I can’t really say that my doing that is bad at all.  The funniest part is that the kids are noticing me doing the same things.

This fact does have me thinking about the other shows that people watch and how much they could be emulating them as well.  Would I be happy if my kids saw me doing things from The Simpsons?  How about Married with Children?  It’s very true that the things that we put into our heads is the same stuff that comes out.  My parenting style has been shaped from my parents, along with stuff I’ve seen on TV from The Cosby Show, Home Improvement, etc.  Yet, most of all it’s been shaped by God through my reading from the Bible and doing many different parenting studies.  I’ve spent time with other people going through the same things that I am going through and have gained from their experiences to figure out how to handle situations. 

Today the thought I want to leave you with is just to examine the things that have influence on your life.  Be it parenting, marriage, money, etc., the information that comes into your life are the same things that will show to others.  We all spend years gathering information and eventually most of that is going to come out one way or another.  I’d like to encourage you to look for positive influences in people, from media, etc.  Those positive influences just might be seen by others some day, and like my family and The Cosby Show, I’m sure you’d rather it be positive than negative.

Goal!

My son Andrew plays on a local travel soccer team. Over the course of two seasons he has become the team’s starting goalie and is thriving in that position. He is becoming very vocal in positioning his teammates and is really learning how to anticipate where a shot will come from, etc. He’s learned how to be aggressive and cut down a shooter's angle to the goal, etc. Yet, he still gives up a goal from time to time and gets frustrated. No matter how hard he works there is always a possibility that the other team will get a good shot off that he just can’t stop. There is also a possibility of a communication break down or lazy teammate who doesn’t do their part, which can result in a goal for the opponent as well.

As I’ve been teaching Andrew about playing goal, one thing we’ve really worked hard on is knowing that he isn’t going to be perfect in goal all the time. There will be times when a ball gets through even in near-perfect circumstances. The hardest part is making sure when this happens he doesn’t become frustrated. He has to accept this possibility and do what he can to keep that from happening, but know in the back of his head that it’s always possible.

This has me thinking about my own Christian walk. What a lesson to learn, eh? No matter how good our defenses are, there is always a possibility that the enemy will get through our defenses. We can stop attempt after attempt, but there is always the possibility that something will go wrong and something bad will happen, even in the best of circumstances. The key is not to get overly frustrated when it happens. We have to figure out how they “scored” and take steps to not allow it to happen again. Just like Andrew, we have to continually practice to make ourselves better. In order for our defenses to be at full strength we always have to be on alert. Sometimes the enemy will come with only one attempt. Other times they’ll take multiple shots. Some times, they’ll even “score”.

Do you work on your “game” every day? Have you learned from the various attempts to “score” on you and worked to get better at keeping those advances away? If you want to continue to thrive in your Christian walk you have to keep working to make your “team” stronger. The more defenders you have in the way, the easier it’s going to be to be great at defending your goal.

10 Years Later

This past Sunday I had the honor of being Elder of the Day at church on the tenth anniversary of 9/11. I really wrestled with that responsibility as it is a day of many memories for people and can be difficult for some people to remember. I spent some time reviewing various videos on 9/11 and looking up other sources of online information as well. Yet, after doing that and praying about what to do, I was still at a loss.

Then it hit me! Instead of really focusing on the past, instead it’s time to focus on now and the future. Although the events of 9/11 were tragic and will never be forgotten by many, the real thing that I saw come out of that day was the unity of Americans. For those days, and even the months that followed, people really seemed to look out for one another. We didn’t stress over all the little things that often divided us, but instead most houses had a flag up in one form or another. People often saluted the men and women of our armed forces and safety services as they went by. Most important to me, people were praying to God more than I’d seen in a long time.

In the ten years that have followed the number of flags we’ve seen has diminished. People don’t often publicly appreciate our police officers, firemen, etc. as much as they did back then. Heaven forbid if you prayed in public, unless you were at a church.

If we are truly going to learn lessons from 9/11/01 and the ten years that have followed is that we have to continue to be united. We need to put our trust in God instead of the Government. We need to truly support and appreciate those that keep us safe every day both here at home and across the globe. We need to support the people who are out trying to reach the hard-to-reach people in the world to show them how great a God we truly have.

What have you learned from 9/11 and the years that have followed?

First Encounters

Sorry this is a day late - holiday weekend messed me up!

I remember the first time I went into Sherri’s Coffeehouse. I had been told about the place by a friend who told me I had to get a certain drink. So, eventually I made my way there and went to purchase the drink that I’d been told about. The problem was that the drink wasn’t on the menu. In fact, many of the drinks I’d heard about weren’t on the menu. I’d never been a “coffee house” kinda guy so I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t realize that the menu was only the tip of the iceberg and if you could dream it, they could make just about anything you want there. Instead I was searching for something that I couldn’t find, and I didn’t know what to do. I let other people go ahead of me in line stating that I was still trying to make up my mind. Eventually I got up to the register and asked about the drink I’d heard about and the person working acted like it wasn’t a big deal at all. All the anxiety I had about asking for a drink that I couldn’t find was relieved, and in only a minute I was going to be able to try it for myself. Since that first day I’ve been back many, many more times than I’d like to admit. I’ve sampled many different drinks there, both hot and cold. I’ve taken my wife and kids, friends, and other family members there. I’ve attended meetings, or just hung out.

I mention that first experience at Sherri’s today because I wouldn’t have a love for Sherri’s without first experiencing Sheri’s for myself. I think that same thing can be said for Christianity. You can hear all about it from other people. You can think about going for awhile, and then finally give it a shot. You search for that thing you are looking for and maybe, just maybe you’ll find it easily….or maybe you won’t find it on the menu and won’t know what to do. Yet, when you first encounter Christianity, you may just get what you were looking for all along and eventually find a home.

You see, when we talk to others about God, this is what we’re showing them. We’re giving them a glimmer of what it will be like, but they may not be to find what they are looking for on the menu. We have to remember as we lead others to Christ that they will be a bit anxious with their first encounter. They have a preconceived idea of what it’s going to be like and it may not be what they expected, like when I couldn’t find the drink on the menu. Some people will be able to adapt and search for what they want, as I did with the drink. Others will turn and leave because they aren’t fully prepared for the first encounter. They won’t be able to adapt and instead, they will retreat.

Our goal as Christians should always be to lead others to Christ. It’s His word of mouth marketing campaign. He wants us to give others a first encounter with Him, just as Sheri’s wanted me to come in and try out a drink. God knows that it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea (or in this case maybe coffee) right away. Yet, getting others to give it a shot is what we’re called to do. My prayer this week is that you are doing your part in that marketing campaign. That you are trying to get others to have a first encounter with Christ as well…and preparing them for what they’ll find when they get to His store.

Get The Message

For some odd reason lately I’ve started to receive a lot of spam in my work e-mail account. I’ve gotten all kinds of things from messages from AARP, information on car stereo systems, free coupons for groceries online, to many other things. They come all day long, some days more than others, but they have become fairly regular.

My #1 question is how they got to me in the first place. Our e-mail server has a spam filter that is supposed to keep this stuff from coming to me. We also are supposed to be monitored by the service provider and the e-mail software. Yet, with all of that protection, many of the messages are still getting through. There has to be a reason, right?

Obviously, the reason has to be that a weakness has been found in my defenses, at least when it comes to e-mail. The spammers have found something and have exploited it. Now that they have a way in they use it over and over again, they will continue to do so until another way to close that gap is found.

The same thing can happen in our spiritual lives. As a believer you have to have some barriers up that will keep the enemy away. Yet, he’s always searching for ways to get through those defenses, and when he finds that weakness he’ll exploit it until he either takes the defense down completely or you close it up again. You can put a quick patch on the problem, but it’s best to put in a long term fix that is stronger than putting your finger in the hole in the wall.

So what weakness in your spiritual life is being exploited right now? Has your time to pray been lessened for one reason or another? Is there some web site that has drawn your attention away from things that really matter? Does a new gadget take up all your time when you should be spending it with God? Is there another weakness being exploited, or maybe more than one at a time?

It’s time to shore up those defenses again. Time to get back to basics and make sure that your defenses are strong. Now that you are aware of the ways that the spam is getting through, it’s time to block it all once again. There is no need to waste your time on that which doesn’t matter. Instead, shore up the defense and get back on track with God.

And So It Begins...

Sunday at Norwalk Alliance Church we had the privilege of having an installation ceremony during the service. We officially installed Michael Bochman as our new pastor of family ministries, his wife Amy as worship leader, and Wayne & Christa Mushett as pastor (and wife) of the Sandusky initiative. It is an exciting time for the church as we really get to focus on what God is doing in our church and the communities in which we serve. Yet, with all the excitement and pageantry we have to remember that we’re just getting started here. We have only a glimmer of God’s plan, and so we have to enjoy this time but realize that this is only the tip of the iceberg. There will be times of joy and times of struggle along the way. Still, getting to start on this new part of the road that He has forged for us is a great feeling for everyone involved, and I pray that you will walk the road with us as we continue to push forward with the plan we feel God has for our church.

Speaking of roads, there is something else starting today in Norwalk. That is right, school has started back again! The day that many children dread, and parents that have been dealing with their kids all summer see as a national holiday! With this I wanted to note something that I feel is very important. Although we are sending our children to school to get their education, still our job is not done. Some of the most important learning kids will do is taught at home and at church. If you are limiting the teaching of your children to what they are learning at school then you are doing them a disservice. Remember that people in this country have been pushing God out of school, so these kids aren’t going to learn about Him there! The learning about God has to come from home and church. Children will learn not only from your teaching them directly, but they’ll also learn from watching you. Trust me, I know! I kept telling my kids not to crack their knuckles and that it was bad for them. So, of course they do….as I kept doing it in front of them. Same thing can happen when teaching about God. If you have them read the Bible, do devotions, etc., but you are swearing all the time, have adult magazines around the house, or are watching shows you shouldn’t be, etc., then your kids aren’t going to see God in your life. You have to set the example, be the example, and teach how to be an example.

Speaking of examples, the last thing I wanted to discuss today is Back to Church Sunday. September 18^th our church will be partnering with many other churches in Norwalk in an effort to reach those that haven't been going to any church in the area. We’re opening our arms and just asking people to come back to church and see if we’re the church for them. No, we don’t care which church you attend, just go ahead and try one out. Think of Norwalk as your church dressing room. Go ahead and try on a pair and if it doesn’t fit, see if you can find another that does fit. In order for any of us to say that God is important to us then I think that spending time with other believers should be very important. To me going through life without other believers is like practicing to play basketball without ever practicing on a hoop. Sure you can do some of the drills correctly, but there will be weaknesses in your game. Your spiritual life can be the same way, there will be weakness – and those are what the enemy looks to expose. It’s my prayer that we can reach people for Christ. You can help, just reach out to someone you know and invite them to your church, or any church for that matter. They might not attend, but your goal should be to make the effort to ask, and let God work to get them through the door. (Though it’s ok if you give them a ride if they need it! J)

As I said in the title, and so it begins. These are exciting times for everyone. We’re not just opening up doors to churches, we’re knocking down walls to the community and the world. Schools are starting, and although most kids won’t admit it, they are probably thrilled to see friends they have lost contact with over the summer. Churches are changing and evolving to do more of God’s work. So, what is new in your life? What exciting things are happening with you now? What new things have happened with you lately that you are excited about? So it begins….

Unedited

So normally when I write my weekly Momentum I have a very good friend/fellow NAC elder and ex English teacher Larry Lepard read through and correct all my errors. I know that I’m not the best grammatically and spelling also gets messed up from time to time. Well, this week I decided to do something different, I’m going to be unedited. The sentence structure may be a bit off, and my punctuation is probably going to be horrible, but at the same time I don’t care, at least not this week.

I wanted to do this week unedited for one important reason. I wanted to show that we don’t have to be perfect to present the Gospel of Christ to the world. You don’t have to cross every I and dot every t. (Yes, I did that on purpose) There are times that I feel that we get so caught up in how perfect everything has to be that we miss out on an opportunity. We can also turn off someone because we’re trying to be too perfect and the person we’re trying to reach isn’t a perfect type of person.

So, to keep this short and limit my mistakes I’ll end with this thought: Although doing things as close to perfect is an admirable goal, don’t let that search for perfection become THE goal. The goal should always be going out and reaching the lost for Christ. We are called to do this and nothing should stand in our way of communicating His love for the world, to the world…not even how we communicate.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

For the last few weeks I’ve been helping coach my son Andrew’s soccer team. I’ve taken a lot of interest in helping with the goalies, mostly because that is Andrew’s position. The other reason, above getting to spend time with him, is because I used to play sweeper/stopper in HS and college and had previously worked a lot with the goalies so I know the position pretty well.

One thing that we’ve really been working on with the goalies is knowing when it’s a good time to attack the ball coming at them, and when it’s a good time to sit and wait to see the play develop. There is a really fine line for them to walk between being aggressive and being overly aggressive. They have to develop their instincts and know their own abilities, know their teammates, etc.

This has me thinking about my responsibility as a Christian in disciplemaking. I think when talking with “the lost” there is also a fine line we have to walk. I want to go out there and reach all that I can, but sometimes it’s easy to be overly aggressive and therefore turn the target off of Christ altogether. Some people need a hard push, some just need a gentle nudge, and it’s my responsibility to figure out the situation and make the decision that is best for my “team”. I also have to attempt to know the efforts others are making to speak into the life of said target and make sure we’re not being overly aggressive as a whole as well. There is a lot to think of, but if it was easy anyone could do it, right?

So, my question for you this week is if you know when you should stay or when you should go? Do you know when to really push His word, and when to just give a gentle nudge? Just like Andrew and his goal-keeping abilities, there is a fine line that has to be walked. Yet, when the goal is just and your intentions are pure, then the actions put forth can be the difference between victory and defeat. Go team God!

Be Careful What You Ask/Pray For

The other night I was on Youtube checking out a few live concert clips from some of my favorite bands. It got me to thinking about how much the people in those groups must have really wanted to play their instruments or sing in front of people. I thought about the journey they must have taken to get there, all the work they had put in, etc. Then I started to wonder how many of the people I was watching were bored. I mean, how much fun can it be to play the same songs, in the same order night after night at concert after concert? Do they still enjoy what they are doing? Is the dream that they achieved all that they thought it would be?

The reason I bring this up is because I think very often we as Christians pray for something, not totally prepared for the results. We do the Prayer of Jabez study and pray for God to enlarge our territories and then have no idea what to do when He give us what we asked to have. We then get overwhelmed, and instead of using that opportunity to further grow with Christ we instead shrink back to something that we never wanted to be. Instead of going out there and being bold for Christ some go back to what they were before they had a relationship with Him.

Today I want to encourage you to prepare for what you ask or pray to have. Just like the bands that I’ve discussed above, I’m sure that there is joy in getting what you are asking to have. God wants to keep you advancing in the Kingdom and for the Kingdom. You should pray expecting to get what you have asked for! If you are going to get it, God knows that you can handle it. Yet, too often our human minds get the best of us and tell us we can’t handle it! Know that He is ready to expand your territory. Know that He wants to answer your prayers. Now you need to be careful what you ask for, and be prepared to take what you’re given and run with it for Him! Those bands I was watching are leading worship for millions of believers all the time. Talk about running with what God has provided! Now it’s your turn. Go out and pray, expecting God to answer those prayers….Oftentimes He’s just waiting for you to ask!

Responsibility

A strange thing has happened to me this summer. You see, my son Noah has been asked by a number of people to help with some yard work for times that they would be away from home. This really took me by surprise. In many ways I continue to see Noah as not old enough to really help other people. Yet not only is he physically big enough but he has really learned how to take the responsibility and run with it.

So he has accepted the jobs that others have “hired” him for and done the work. Not only has he accepted them, but it’s really brought out something I wasn’t expecting, a sense of ownership in the jobs. He remembered before Traci and I did that he had the work to be done. He asks me if the lawn needs mowed yet. He tells us that he has to go down and water the flowers. He wakes up early to make sure it gets done, is willing to work out in the heat, etc.

This situation has had me thinking this week about how God uses us to reach His people. At one point or another we’re all just sitting around. We’ve grown some but aren’t always the most active. Then He tasks us with a job and expects us to get it done. He knows that we’re mature enough to handle the job, even if people around us don’t see it in us yet. Then we run with the task. We go out into the world and reach others for His cause. We take ownership of the task and make sure it gets done.

As Noah’s dad I have really enjoyed watching him take on these jobs this summer. I’ve always enjoyed watching him grow and mature, but by others asking him to do the work it really brought out even more in him. I think God enjoys the same things when He watches us mature and take on the responsibilities that He gives us.

This week, when you are given responsibilities, are you going to accept them and step up to the plate? God wants to use you to reach others in the world and He knows what you can take on, even if you or others around you don’t know if you are ready yet. Will you take on the tasks like Noah has and take full ownership?

Solving Disputes - Who is In Control?

Currently in Norwalk there is a bit of a battle brewing that I’d like to discuss some today. Although I don’t know all of the circumstances on how everything came about, I can tell you some of the facts of the debate:

Fact 1: The VFW owns a bunch of land.

Fact 2: That land has been used by Lefty Grove Baseball for years.

Fact 3: A piece of that land has been offered to Norwalk Jr. Truckers Football.

Fact 4: Norwalk Jr. Truckers Football is a quality organization that has been helping youth for years.

Fact 5: Lefty Grove baseball is a quality organization that has been helping youth for years.

Now those are the facts as I know them. I haven’t had many dealings with the VFW here in Norwalk personally so I don’t have expertise on how it is run, its leadership, etc. However, I like to assume that it’s a quality organization as well.

The problem is that there is a dispute going on that is going to cause damage to all three organizations. My personal problem is that I can see all three sides of the argument. I can see why the VFW should be able to repurpose their land as they see fit. I see why Lefty Grove wouldn’t want to lose the space. I also see why Norwalk Jr. Truckers would want the space.

Now I’m not going to spend my time here today discussing what I think should be done, as frankly that doesn’t matter at all. Sure I have an opinion, and I’m on the fence right now as I support all of the sides of the argument one way or another. Instead, today I’d like to focus on one thing: God has already decided how this will work out and for the glory of His kingdom this will all get worked out in the long run.

Saying that doesn’t easily make the sides of the argument agree. Saying that doesn’t make it easy for anyone either. Yet, it’s not the saying it that helps at all. It’s believing those words that allows us all to start to find an answer to situations like these. When we believe that we’re not in control and that He is in control instead allows us to keep a level head in these types of debates. That allows situations like this to not boil over and spill into other areas that have collateral damage. This knowledge will allow all three organizations to reach a compromise that not only helps all involved, but continues to advance His kingdom. It will allow the children of Norwalk to be served by these quality organizations today and for years to come.

It’s my sincere hope that those involved in this will work daily to glorify Christ in all the decisions they make. I know as a parent I’m extremely thankful for all that each of these organizations have done for our youth, and I look forward to years of their continued service to the community. It’s my sincere belief that this will be solved without anyone getting a black eye and that the Glory of God will be evident in the resolution.

Maybe It Doesn’t Matter After All

So over the past few weeks I’ve gone over a variety of different topics and hopefully you’ve found them helpful in one way or another in your personal walk with Jesus. Yet I’m sure there are some who have read some, or even all, of the blog posts and still don’t think that any of this matters. There are some that will scoff at the notion that parenting, budgeting, or maybe even church doesn’t matter for one reason or another. They have had bad experiences in the past in one of these areas and so they don’t feel that it really matters for them. Then there are others who have read all of my postings and have absorbed the information, but their life hasn’t changed at all. Many of those same people believe in God, but they don’t have a personal relationship with Him at all. Instead they keep living their lives and don’t think He really matters because nothing has changed in their lives.

Today I’m here to tell everyone that all that I’ve previously written here does matter. The problem is that oftentimes people read blogs like this, daily devotionals, or even their Bible and don’t make changes in their lives. Instead they expect things to change for them, even if they don’t make the effort. Today is a wake up call to each and every one of you. It’s time to start taking action and being responsible for your life. It’s time to take control of your spiritual walk and make a change. Make a budget, start working on being a better parent, look at church differently, etc. If you just keep sitting there “like a bump on a log”, as my Grandma has said to me in the past, then nothing is going to change in your life.

Up to this point many people have just read this blog week after week and said it was a nice little diversion in their life. Some people read it and forget it a couple minutes later. Still others read this information and never think about anything written here again. To each and every person who reads this I say that it’s time to take action. It’s time to realize that your spiritual life does matter to you. It’s time to show the enemy that he doesn’t have a hold on you and that you dare him to attack you because you have God on your side and you’re not hiding that relationship any more.

Don’t let the words here go in one eye and out the other. Read the words, absorb their meaning, and take action. You’ll find your life stronger, and you’ll show the world that God does matter in your life, and He can matter in theirs as well.

Church Matters

So, I’m sure what a lot of you are asking is that if faith matters…and I talked about that last week…why go on and talk about how church matters as well? Well, because there are lots of people who attend a church who don’t have genuine faith. They sit in their normal seat week after week and go through the motions of being there, yet they don’t have a clue of what God and having faith in Him are all about. So, they have to be separate, right? But does that make it sound like I’m saying you should make sure you are at your church every week? I know it does, but you’ll have to let me explain further in the next couple paragraphs. I think you’ll figure out the differences from there.

First off, you need to stop viewing church as something you HAVE to do every week. In fact, church is something you GET to do every week! You get to be with a group of other believers and spend time worshiping God. You get to sit near people who cover you in prayer. You get to pray in a large group of people. You get to hear God’s word together, and so much more.

Second, church isn’t about rituals. I’d encourage you to change where you sit every week instead of having a “regular seat”. There are more than enough people with regular seats at the church. What happens when you move? Well, you get to meet new people. You hear other people pray, worship, etc. So this can change your experience every week. Now, I should also mention in this section that I realize that church needs to have some structure. We have to do worship songs at a certain time in the service, or do communion when you do, etc. I’m not saying those things shouldn’t be done. In fact, I’m very much in favor of that structure. Yet, if that structure is rigid, then you don’t allow space for God to work, and that is a mistake because it’s supposed to be all about Him. Right?

Third, I think church matters because of all of the people you get to come in contact with while you are there. Just hearing other people pray can change your prayer life. Having people pray for you in the aisles can make a huge difference. Maybe when worshipping you get just a glimmer of God working in your life or those around you. But most of all I think the people matter because when you are there you have the support of others. You don’t have to fight the world as much when you are there at church with others who have the same mindset. You get strength from those gatherings, which can fuel another week of your striving to be a light for Him out in the world the following week.

So, does church matter? In short, yes it does. Does it have to be a small church or a mega church? No way. Church can be you and 3 other people in a living room, or in a building as big as Madison Square Garden in New York City. What I do know for certain is that being around other believers is always a good thing, and I’d encourage you to make church matter in your life as well.

Next Week: Maybe It Doesn’t Matter After All

Faith Matters

What does it really mean for someone to have faith? I’ve heard many describe faith as believing in something that you can’t see, something you can’t touch, etc. Dictonary.com describes faith as confidence or faith in someone or something. Yet, how others think or describe faith really doesn’t matter. What does matter is how YOU would describe faith and how having that faith has affected your life.

How does faith matter in your everyday life? Do you really believe that God can do things for you? Do you really believe that He wants the best for you and will work with you to make your life the best that you will let Him? That’s right, that you’ll let Him. I say that because since He allowed free will… well to put it shortly, He has allowed us to get in the way. Yet through that He still has the ability and desire to make your life better, but do you have faith that this is the truth?

Faith for me took a while to develop. As a child I went to a Catholic church and I received a lot of knowledge about God. I memorized verses, I took steps to move forward in the church, etc. Yet, I didn’t have a full relationship with Jesus that allowed me to fully understand what faith is. I then slipped away from church and tried doing everything on my own. I eventually hit bottom and was working my way back up life-wise when I met my future wife wife Traci. She had a strong Baptist church background and we went to church together a few times while dating. Her faith showed and allowed me to get a glimpse of who God really is, which was something I desired. So I started back on the journey to learning more about God. We eventually found a church and were married there. It’s while at that church that I got a full understanding of what it is like to have real faith in something other than myself.

Yet, it wasn’t until this English pastor guy came to visit us after we visited Norwalk Alliance Church that my life was changed for good. I accepted Jesus into my life and started to experience real faith. Oh, and that faith was tested pretty quickly. I lost my job and Traci was a stay-at-home mom. We had mouths to feed, were trying to get out of debt, and it was through our combined faith in God that we were able to get through that time. We continually prayed in faith for God to work, and although it wasn’t an instant answer, He did answer eventually. Our faith in God gave us food when we had no money. That faith paid our bills when we couldn’t. And that faith allowed us to really see God work in our lives, and made us desire even more to walk with Him daily.

What has your faith done? Has your faith been tested? Did you have enough faith to stick with Him while He was sticking with you? What stories do you have where your faith in God has done incredible things in your life? How has your faith changed over the years? These are all stories I’d love to hear, and I hope you do share them with me.

Next Week: Church Matters

Money Matters

Every once in awhile I allude in this space to some of the money problems we’ve had in the past and how we’ve dealt with them. I don’t know how often I’ve told the complete story, so I’d like to go over it a bit here, hoping that it helps you as well.

In college Traci and I both used credit cards to finance things that we wanted or needed. Once we were married we combined our debt and worked on getting rid of some of it while still using credit. Eventually we got to a point where we had the cards all paid off and were working on paying off student loans. Then a career change came along and we started using credit regularly again. We got into some debt but were able to pay it off once again, only to go through another career change. That career change came with us having 2 kids, a stay-at-home wife, and no job for me. The debt kept growing as we were using the cards just to keep our heads above water.

Luckily, a job for me came along right as we were about to really start to sink in the debt that we were treading in. We started to reposition ourselves financially and eventually found the water not as deep. We decided that we didn’t want to get into debt any more. Since that day we’ve been working towards getting out of debt, a process that isn’t easy at all.

We started out by writing out all of our debts from largest to smallest (leaving our the student loans that we still owe, but we concentrated on the consumer debt first). We’ve worked through all of our credit cards, paying off thousands of dollars on them. We’ve paid off both of our cars. We’ve worked on our medical debt and paid it off (minus the newer expenses when they’ve come up) and we’ve worked on our student loans and mortgage debt. Now some expenses have been added along the way due to changes in circumstances, but for the most part we’re out of the credit debt that plagued us most of our married lives. Sure we’re still working on this process and will continue to do so for some time to come.

Below I’d like to address the process for you so maybe you can follow it as well (This is from Dave Ramsey’s book The Total Money Makeover – only paraphrased with Ericisms included):

-List out your debts from smallest to largest. Work through the smallest debts first. If you have a $500 debt you pay on every month, put every extra penny you can towards that debt, while continuing to, pay the other debts down the list as you have been. All of a sudden that monthly debt will be gone, and you can put the payment you were making towards the $500 debt, plus the payment you’d been making on the next one down the list together, and you’ll see that next debt go away as well. Then when you get to the biggest one on the list you are putting the payments from all of those above it together and making huge payments on the big debt. It’s amazing how fast you can chip away at a boulder when you stop using the mini hammer and get our a sledge instead.

-Create an emergency fund. You need to start out and put at least $1000 aside in a separate account that you promise yourselves that you won’t touch without it being a huge emergency. Now that emergency isn’t running out of TP for the house; we’re talking about things like needing a new water heater, car repairs, etc. Then, when you can, you need to build that emergency fund to at least 3-4 months worth of expenses. You never know when you might lose a job, have a major medical problem, etc. It’s better to be prepared for such things.

-Pay With Cash (Or at least a debit/check card from your bank account). It’s time to get rid of the credit cards, people. Sure you just bought all that clothing for 20% off on sale at Aeropostale, but if you end up paying 15% interest on that purchase for the next year you don’t make out in the long run. Here is a rule to follow: If you don’t have the cash to buy it, then you don’t need it. It’s extremely hard, especially when all of your friends and neighbors are buying all kinds of new things all the time. Yet, if you really need it, you’ll find a way to have the cash to buy it, right? Oh, and this goes for Christmas and birthdays as well. We’ve been doing Christmas for years now totally in cash, no credit. It’s easy to do when you plan ahead. That brings up the next point:

-Budgeting. In order to really understand what you are spending money on, you need to start a budget and stick to it. In order to really know what you are spending, go ahead and spend a month or two writing down everything you spend money on (keep your receipts in a shoebox for a month or two if you have to!). Then throw it into a spreadsheet and see what kind of things you spent your money on. Then try to budget based on what you’d spent. Did you spend more than what you made last month? If you did, then you have to find places to cut. Sure it’s hard to do when gas prices change every day, but you can estimate it. The key is to make sure you don’t spend more than you make. Then you can start using cash for everything, as mentioned above. This will allow you to cut out the debt.

-Tithing. Tithing is more than giving to the church what change you have in your pocket. Tithing is giving to God what was His to begin with. If you truly trust Him, then not only will you give to God, but you’ll give to Him before you pay any other bill every month. You’ll make Him the priority and all that He is doing. When you do this not only will you be blessed for this decision, but you’ll be challenged as well. Before you started this, the enemy had control of your spending. He’s not going to like the fact that you changed the plan and gave to God. So, he’ll allow good old Murphy to come over and move into your home. You’ll have a flat tire, the washer will need a new motor, or the kids will break a window when throwing the ball in the back yard. (No experience with that one! J) Yet, if you trust God, then He'll not only fix those issues, but you’ll have money to make your budget as well. We’ve seen it time and time again in our lives, and trust me it works. God will take care of you. You just have to trust Him to do so in this area, as well as every other area of your life.

-Prayer. If you truly have given everything to God, then you have to allow Him to control your money as well, as I noted above. You have to pray about the financial decisions you are going to make. You have to pray that He controls them and that you will have the money there for whatever He wants to be doing in your life. Do you pray about your finances, thanking Him for the money you do have, and praying that He increases your territory here as well?

Those are just a few of the things that can help you with that really matters in terms of money and finances. There is so much more to discuss, but I’ve gone on enough here this week. I would encourage you to talk to me about this more, as this is probably one of my favorite areas to teach on, as you can now probably tell. I will be happy to go over budgets with you, walking alongside you on this journey if it’s something you want to start to do. Feel free to contact me any time.

Next Week: Faith Matters

Friends Matter

So for the past month we’ve been delving into a variety of topics that I feel really matter in our Christian walks, and that often don’t get talked about enough on Sundays. Today I wanted to go over friendships.

You see, strong friendships really do matter in your life, oftentimes more than we realize. First off I think that your spouse should be your best friend. If you can’t share everything in your life with that person, then you really need to work on some of the other areas we’ve already discussed. That being said, I think that a few other strong friendships in your life are equally important.

As important as your spouse is, he or she can’t always relate to everything that you have going on in your life. I know that I’ll never know what it’s like to go through childbirth, menstrual cycles, husband problems, etc. (That last one alone would be enough to drive a person completely crazy!) So having someone you can talk to about those issues who has gone through the same kind of things really does matter. They can listen to what you have to say, and possibly even give advice or at least easily relate. Talking with others who go through the same things can make it easier to go through those problems, along with many others.

Another positive of friendships are having someone else to bounce ideas off of. Be they ideas on what to buy your kids or spouse for a birthday, to thoughts on a new ministry idea, those friends can give you another point of view that can really help to developing the ideas that you have. Sometimes they’ll even come up with problems that you never saw because they can fully look at things that you might not be able to, due to the rose colored glasses you are wearing.

Another advantage of positive friendships, at least for me, is that sometimes I need adult contact that isn’t my spouse. I love Traci dearly, but I need to hang out with other guys from time to time and do guy things. Traci will watch sports with me, but it’s different going with a group of guys to a game and hashing out the latest moves the team made. Or playing a sport together with other guys and being able to compete with and against them, etc. Those are outlets for me which I need ,and I'm sure many other guys, as well as women, need them.

My last point on friendship is that you need to have friends that keep you spiritually in check. You need to have an accountability partner who isn’t your spouse that will keep you spiritually strong. They will check in with you regularly and make sure you continue to progress in your spiritual walk. They will pray with you and for you regularly. Here is the kicker, you’ll do the same for them as well. This relationship will keep your friendship strong, but also keep the relationship you have with Jesus strong, allowing you to continually model that relationship in the world.

As you can see, friendships do matter. There are a lot of things that I wasn’t able to cover here because I don’t want you to fall asleep reading this. If you want to discuss this further please contact me any time.

Next Week: Money Matters

Family Matters

So we’ve talked about marriage and how it matters. We’ve talked about parenting and how it matters. Now let’s discuss how those two things come together. To be a good, cohesive unit you have to find a way to meld your marriage to your spouse and to your parenting of your children. They aren’t separate at all in fact. Once you have kids and become parents, your marriage takes on a new form. You now have a family, and that family unit that you’ve created also needs to stay strong.

In order to have a strong family you have to spend time together. Now it’s not easy, as we’ve found out with our family. Our kids are always having practices for sports, games, or other activities they are involved with. We’re always running around, and quite often one half of the family is at one thing while the other half is at another. Because of that, we’ve found that these things matter:

Support Each Other – In order for the family to be strong, it really does matter for the family as a whole to invest time in one another. If one person has a game, for instance, the rest of the family should be there to root them on if they can be. They should do it because then when the shoe is on the other foot, it’ll be their turn to root you on. I know this doesn’t always work, but whenever it can for us it does.

Time Together – We attempt every week to spend some time together as a family. We try to play a game, watch a movie, or even go out and do something together. In the summer time we take walks or ride bikes, etc. During spring break we took mini trips to places the kids wanted to go. Those investments in the family as a whole build memories and keep the unit as a whole strong, and that really does matter.

Prayer – (Have you seen a pattern here yet?) Prayer for and with the family is important. It’s not just something you do at dinner. Pray for your family as a whole. Pray that they stay strong through the hard times, and enjoy the good times together.

Once again, there is a lot more that matters family-wise, but I’ll stop here. As always, if you’d like to discuss this more, contact me. If your family really does matter to you, then I hope I’ve helped at the least to reinforce ways to keep that family unit strong.

Next Week: Friends Matter

Parenting Matters

Last week I spent time in this blog writing about marriage and how the little things matter. This week I’d like to take some time to look at parenting. So far in the eleven years that I’ve been a parent of at least one child (we have 3 – ages 11, 8, 4) I can definitely say that parenting is one of the most frustrating, and yet most rewarding things I will ever do in my life.

I remember the day that Noah was born like it was just yesterday. We went from a party of two at a restaurant to a party of three. It had just been the two of us and we had the freedom to do just about anything we wanted whenever we wanted to do it, at least within the law. We took walks every day after work, we hung out with our friends, we went to all the church events we desired, etc. Then all of a sudden this little guy came along and those things became more difficult. Then, when we finally got used to that then Andrew came along. So we took some time and got used to playing the man man-to-man defense, and then Abby came along and we had to go to zone defense!

So, what have I learned from parenting? Well, some of that answer you can find below:

A Child’s Love Is Contagious – The first time that I saw Noah I was hooked. At that moment I learned what it was like to love my very own child. I remember as each child has grown and developed their own ways for showing me that they love me. Yes, it changes throughout their lives, as I’ve found. Still, if they love you, they’ll still show it. I do know this for sure – the more love I give them, and the more they give back, the more I want to show it and have it shown to me. I mean, the other day I had to leave for work early and I had to leave before Abby was up. Because of that I missed my "have a good day, Dad " hug from her. Yes, it’s a little thing, but I missed it. I still hug my kids every day. I make it a point that I show them love every day, and in turn they do the same. The more I get, the more I want….it’s that contagious.

Discipline The Action, Not The Child – This one I learned very early. I’ve learned to make sure when I yell at the kids on the big things that it’s very important that they know that I still love them. I make sure that they know that I’m not happy about the action they took, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love them. Now, I’m a yeller when I get upset or frustrated with the kids. (I think it’s because they drive me crazy – which also helps you understand my mental state) I’ll always point out the little things that didn’t get done or how an action wasn’t thought out well. Yet, I’ve found that the kids learn better from the mistakes if they know that it’s not that I hate them or anything like that. Instead I don’t like the action that they took that got them into trouble. This has helped us all bond closely, and has worked very well thus far in our lives together.

Kids and Parents Aren’t Perfect – As hard as it is to admit, I make mistakes just like my kids do. I mean, it’s not like they give us a manual when we get the kids at the hospital, right? If we expect our kids to admit and pay for their mistakes, then we as parents should do the same thing. I’ve admitted to my kids many times when I’ve messed up. And in turn they have done the same thing to me as well. I think that if we show to our kids that we’re not perfect as well, it allows them to love us even with our imperfections, just as we love them with the same.

Prayer – As I mentioned last week, we pray every week for our family. We pray for their events, schooling, sports, etc. If you are a believer in Christ and a parents and don’t pray for you kids, why not? Do they not deserve to be prayed for? You have to pray that they become the best persons that they can be. Pray for them to know Jesus and have a relationship and that it grows daily. Pray for them to be safe. Pray for them to love you, as you love them. Oh, and another thing when it comes to prayer – you have to pray with your kids. I’ve been convicted on this one lately. I spend a lot of time praying with others, but not enough with my own kids – even though I have more access to them than anyone else. How can our kids develop a stronger prayer life if they don’t have a solid model to pattern their prayer lives after?

Now I’ve learned a lot more, and I could go on forever discussing it. Instead, if you have questions about anything, I’d love to help. Contact me any time. There are many other little things that really do matter, but today as I wrote this I felt these were important. What do you think? What matters to you as a parent?

Next Week: Family Matters