Everything I know on parenting, I learned from Bill Cosby

A couple weeks ago we cancelled our cable at home.  We decided that we could live watching shows on Hulu, Netflix, etc. and cut a ton of our costs.  One of the shows that our kids have been watching through each and every episode of every season is The Cosby Show.  I remember when this show was first on and watching it with my parents.  I’ve constantly referenced it since then when I’ve been raising the kids, and so they wanted to watch the episodes. 

Well, almost every episode one of my kids will turn to me and say that I’ve either said or done the same thing that they just watched on TV.  It cracks me up as they are so right…I really did take a lot more away from that show than I ever thought.  I often treat my kids the same way, and I can’t really say that my doing that is bad at all.  The funniest part is that the kids are noticing me doing the same things.

This fact does have me thinking about the other shows that people watch and how much they could be emulating them as well.  Would I be happy if my kids saw me doing things from The Simpsons?  How about Married with Children?  It’s very true that the things that we put into our heads is the same stuff that comes out.  My parenting style has been shaped from my parents, along with stuff I’ve seen on TV from The Cosby Show, Home Improvement, etc.  Yet, most of all it’s been shaped by God through my reading from the Bible and doing many different parenting studies.  I’ve spent time with other people going through the same things that I am going through and have gained from their experiences to figure out how to handle situations. 

Today the thought I want to leave you with is just to examine the things that have influence on your life.  Be it parenting, marriage, money, etc., the information that comes into your life are the same things that will show to others.  We all spend years gathering information and eventually most of that is going to come out one way or another.  I’d like to encourage you to look for positive influences in people, from media, etc.  Those positive influences just might be seen by others some day, and like my family and The Cosby Show, I’m sure you’d rather it be positive than negative.

Goal!

My son Andrew plays on a local travel soccer team. Over the course of two seasons he has become the team’s starting goalie and is thriving in that position. He is becoming very vocal in positioning his teammates and is really learning how to anticipate where a shot will come from, etc. He’s learned how to be aggressive and cut down a shooter's angle to the goal, etc. Yet, he still gives up a goal from time to time and gets frustrated. No matter how hard he works there is always a possibility that the other team will get a good shot off that he just can’t stop. There is also a possibility of a communication break down or lazy teammate who doesn’t do their part, which can result in a goal for the opponent as well.

As I’ve been teaching Andrew about playing goal, one thing we’ve really worked hard on is knowing that he isn’t going to be perfect in goal all the time. There will be times when a ball gets through even in near-perfect circumstances. The hardest part is making sure when this happens he doesn’t become frustrated. He has to accept this possibility and do what he can to keep that from happening, but know in the back of his head that it’s always possible.

This has me thinking about my own Christian walk. What a lesson to learn, eh? No matter how good our defenses are, there is always a possibility that the enemy will get through our defenses. We can stop attempt after attempt, but there is always the possibility that something will go wrong and something bad will happen, even in the best of circumstances. The key is not to get overly frustrated when it happens. We have to figure out how they “scored” and take steps to not allow it to happen again. Just like Andrew, we have to continually practice to make ourselves better. In order for our defenses to be at full strength we always have to be on alert. Sometimes the enemy will come with only one attempt. Other times they’ll take multiple shots. Some times, they’ll even “score”.

Do you work on your “game” every day? Have you learned from the various attempts to “score” on you and worked to get better at keeping those advances away? If you want to continue to thrive in your Christian walk you have to keep working to make your “team” stronger. The more defenders you have in the way, the easier it’s going to be to be great at defending your goal.

10 Years Later

This past Sunday I had the honor of being Elder of the Day at church on the tenth anniversary of 9/11. I really wrestled with that responsibility as it is a day of many memories for people and can be difficult for some people to remember. I spent some time reviewing various videos on 9/11 and looking up other sources of online information as well. Yet, after doing that and praying about what to do, I was still at a loss.

Then it hit me! Instead of really focusing on the past, instead it’s time to focus on now and the future. Although the events of 9/11 were tragic and will never be forgotten by many, the real thing that I saw come out of that day was the unity of Americans. For those days, and even the months that followed, people really seemed to look out for one another. We didn’t stress over all the little things that often divided us, but instead most houses had a flag up in one form or another. People often saluted the men and women of our armed forces and safety services as they went by. Most important to me, people were praying to God more than I’d seen in a long time.

In the ten years that have followed the number of flags we’ve seen has diminished. People don’t often publicly appreciate our police officers, firemen, etc. as much as they did back then. Heaven forbid if you prayed in public, unless you were at a church.

If we are truly going to learn lessons from 9/11/01 and the ten years that have followed is that we have to continue to be united. We need to put our trust in God instead of the Government. We need to truly support and appreciate those that keep us safe every day both here at home and across the globe. We need to support the people who are out trying to reach the hard-to-reach people in the world to show them how great a God we truly have.

What have you learned from 9/11 and the years that have followed?

First Encounters

Sorry this is a day late - holiday weekend messed me up!

I remember the first time I went into Sherri’s Coffeehouse. I had been told about the place by a friend who told me I had to get a certain drink. So, eventually I made my way there and went to purchase the drink that I’d been told about. The problem was that the drink wasn’t on the menu. In fact, many of the drinks I’d heard about weren’t on the menu. I’d never been a “coffee house” kinda guy so I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t realize that the menu was only the tip of the iceberg and if you could dream it, they could make just about anything you want there. Instead I was searching for something that I couldn’t find, and I didn’t know what to do. I let other people go ahead of me in line stating that I was still trying to make up my mind. Eventually I got up to the register and asked about the drink I’d heard about and the person working acted like it wasn’t a big deal at all. All the anxiety I had about asking for a drink that I couldn’t find was relieved, and in only a minute I was going to be able to try it for myself. Since that first day I’ve been back many, many more times than I’d like to admit. I’ve sampled many different drinks there, both hot and cold. I’ve taken my wife and kids, friends, and other family members there. I’ve attended meetings, or just hung out.

I mention that first experience at Sherri’s today because I wouldn’t have a love for Sherri’s without first experiencing Sheri’s for myself. I think that same thing can be said for Christianity. You can hear all about it from other people. You can think about going for awhile, and then finally give it a shot. You search for that thing you are looking for and maybe, just maybe you’ll find it easily….or maybe you won’t find it on the menu and won’t know what to do. Yet, when you first encounter Christianity, you may just get what you were looking for all along and eventually find a home.

You see, when we talk to others about God, this is what we’re showing them. We’re giving them a glimmer of what it will be like, but they may not be to find what they are looking for on the menu. We have to remember as we lead others to Christ that they will be a bit anxious with their first encounter. They have a preconceived idea of what it’s going to be like and it may not be what they expected, like when I couldn’t find the drink on the menu. Some people will be able to adapt and search for what they want, as I did with the drink. Others will turn and leave because they aren’t fully prepared for the first encounter. They won’t be able to adapt and instead, they will retreat.

Our goal as Christians should always be to lead others to Christ. It’s His word of mouth marketing campaign. He wants us to give others a first encounter with Him, just as Sheri’s wanted me to come in and try out a drink. God knows that it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea (or in this case maybe coffee) right away. Yet, getting others to give it a shot is what we’re called to do. My prayer this week is that you are doing your part in that marketing campaign. That you are trying to get others to have a first encounter with Christ as well…and preparing them for what they’ll find when they get to His store.

Get The Message

For some odd reason lately I’ve started to receive a lot of spam in my work e-mail account. I’ve gotten all kinds of things from messages from AARP, information on car stereo systems, free coupons for groceries online, to many other things. They come all day long, some days more than others, but they have become fairly regular.

My #1 question is how they got to me in the first place. Our e-mail server has a spam filter that is supposed to keep this stuff from coming to me. We also are supposed to be monitored by the service provider and the e-mail software. Yet, with all of that protection, many of the messages are still getting through. There has to be a reason, right?

Obviously, the reason has to be that a weakness has been found in my defenses, at least when it comes to e-mail. The spammers have found something and have exploited it. Now that they have a way in they use it over and over again, they will continue to do so until another way to close that gap is found.

The same thing can happen in our spiritual lives. As a believer you have to have some barriers up that will keep the enemy away. Yet, he’s always searching for ways to get through those defenses, and when he finds that weakness he’ll exploit it until he either takes the defense down completely or you close it up again. You can put a quick patch on the problem, but it’s best to put in a long term fix that is stronger than putting your finger in the hole in the wall.

So what weakness in your spiritual life is being exploited right now? Has your time to pray been lessened for one reason or another? Is there some web site that has drawn your attention away from things that really matter? Does a new gadget take up all your time when you should be spending it with God? Is there another weakness being exploited, or maybe more than one at a time?

It’s time to shore up those defenses again. Time to get back to basics and make sure that your defenses are strong. Now that you are aware of the ways that the spam is getting through, it’s time to block it all once again. There is no need to waste your time on that which doesn’t matter. Instead, shore up the defense and get back on track with God.

And So It Begins...

Sunday at Norwalk Alliance Church we had the privilege of having an installation ceremony during the service. We officially installed Michael Bochman as our new pastor of family ministries, his wife Amy as worship leader, and Wayne & Christa Mushett as pastor (and wife) of the Sandusky initiative. It is an exciting time for the church as we really get to focus on what God is doing in our church and the communities in which we serve. Yet, with all the excitement and pageantry we have to remember that we’re just getting started here. We have only a glimmer of God’s plan, and so we have to enjoy this time but realize that this is only the tip of the iceberg. There will be times of joy and times of struggle along the way. Still, getting to start on this new part of the road that He has forged for us is a great feeling for everyone involved, and I pray that you will walk the road with us as we continue to push forward with the plan we feel God has for our church.

Speaking of roads, there is something else starting today in Norwalk. That is right, school has started back again! The day that many children dread, and parents that have been dealing with their kids all summer see as a national holiday! With this I wanted to note something that I feel is very important. Although we are sending our children to school to get their education, still our job is not done. Some of the most important learning kids will do is taught at home and at church. If you are limiting the teaching of your children to what they are learning at school then you are doing them a disservice. Remember that people in this country have been pushing God out of school, so these kids aren’t going to learn about Him there! The learning about God has to come from home and church. Children will learn not only from your teaching them directly, but they’ll also learn from watching you. Trust me, I know! I kept telling my kids not to crack their knuckles and that it was bad for them. So, of course they do….as I kept doing it in front of them. Same thing can happen when teaching about God. If you have them read the Bible, do devotions, etc., but you are swearing all the time, have adult magazines around the house, or are watching shows you shouldn’t be, etc., then your kids aren’t going to see God in your life. You have to set the example, be the example, and teach how to be an example.

Speaking of examples, the last thing I wanted to discuss today is Back to Church Sunday. September 18^th our church will be partnering with many other churches in Norwalk in an effort to reach those that haven't been going to any church in the area. We’re opening our arms and just asking people to come back to church and see if we’re the church for them. No, we don’t care which church you attend, just go ahead and try one out. Think of Norwalk as your church dressing room. Go ahead and try on a pair and if it doesn’t fit, see if you can find another that does fit. In order for any of us to say that God is important to us then I think that spending time with other believers should be very important. To me going through life without other believers is like practicing to play basketball without ever practicing on a hoop. Sure you can do some of the drills correctly, but there will be weaknesses in your game. Your spiritual life can be the same way, there will be weakness – and those are what the enemy looks to expose. It’s my prayer that we can reach people for Christ. You can help, just reach out to someone you know and invite them to your church, or any church for that matter. They might not attend, but your goal should be to make the effort to ask, and let God work to get them through the door. (Though it’s ok if you give them a ride if they need it! J)

As I said in the title, and so it begins. These are exciting times for everyone. We’re not just opening up doors to churches, we’re knocking down walls to the community and the world. Schools are starting, and although most kids won’t admit it, they are probably thrilled to see friends they have lost contact with over the summer. Churches are changing and evolving to do more of God’s work. So, what is new in your life? What exciting things are happening with you now? What new things have happened with you lately that you are excited about? So it begins….

Unedited

So normally when I write my weekly Momentum I have a very good friend/fellow NAC elder and ex English teacher Larry Lepard read through and correct all my errors. I know that I’m not the best grammatically and spelling also gets messed up from time to time. Well, this week I decided to do something different, I’m going to be unedited. The sentence structure may be a bit off, and my punctuation is probably going to be horrible, but at the same time I don’t care, at least not this week.

I wanted to do this week unedited for one important reason. I wanted to show that we don’t have to be perfect to present the Gospel of Christ to the world. You don’t have to cross every I and dot every t. (Yes, I did that on purpose) There are times that I feel that we get so caught up in how perfect everything has to be that we miss out on an opportunity. We can also turn off someone because we’re trying to be too perfect and the person we’re trying to reach isn’t a perfect type of person.

So, to keep this short and limit my mistakes I’ll end with this thought: Although doing things as close to perfect is an admirable goal, don’t let that search for perfection become THE goal. The goal should always be going out and reaching the lost for Christ. We are called to do this and nothing should stand in our way of communicating His love for the world, to the world…not even how we communicate.