Parenting Fail

As the involved parent that I try to be,  I have the opportunity to spend a lot of time around my kids and their friends.  Now I can honestly say that I don’t know all of them, and I’m not writing this to call anyone out directly.  However, one thing that I’ve noticed a lot in the last year or so is how many parents fail in one area:  monitoring their kids  kids' online lives.

I should note that we have failed in his area of parenting many times as well.  Technology just keeps changing so fast and you think that you’ve trained your kids appropriately, only to find that you didn’t.  It’s amazing how much influence the kid’s friends, media, and technology have on kids these days.

Today, though, I’d like to discuss what I’m finding with many local kids.  Frankly, the majority just have no filter in what they think, say, or write and have no filtering at home.  I can almost guarantee that at least 70% of their parents have no real idea what their kids are up to.  The things that kids post on their own Facebook pages is ridiculous.  I remember when we were kids that even if you cursed you’d never do it around your parents.  Now kids not only talk like that to their friends but post it on FB all the time and text it to one another.  Then you can add all the kids'  phones and iPods and iPhones and the abilities that these devices have.  Most people know that Skype and Facetime have been used by people of all ages for sexual experiences, but did you know people do the same with Snapchat? 

These are just a few of the avenues that kids have these days to do things we would have never thought of when we were children.  I read an article the other day that even FB games that have social aspects have been used for sexting for kids that have parents who monitor their kids!  What about all the kids not being monitored?

It’s a crazy world we live in today, and frankly extremely hard to be a parent today.  Monitoring our children is almost a full-time job.  It used to be that you didn’t have to worry about the kids when they were at your house.  Now you have to worry all the time about what they are doing and what they are getting into, and it’s not easy.  As parents we have to keep up with what's going on with our kids.  We have to lock down their phones and mobile devices and keep an eye on what they're doing.  And even at that it isn’t enough.  Their friends have these devices as well, and most probably aren’t monitored at all by their parents. 

So how do we as parents avoid the fail? 

-First and foremost ,we have to pray.  Pray that God will keep the kids safe and that He’ll guide our kids to become the people He wants them to be.  Pray that our children have a Godly heart and are willing to follow Him instead of the world.  Pray that the kids will be the positive influences that their friends need instead of the other way around.  And pray that they have other positive influences in their lives that will help us filter through all the garbage in the world.

-Secondly, we have to be vigilant with filtering the world’s influence in our children’s lives.  Set up web filters on the computer, check through their texts and social media pages.  Don’t ever allow your kids to have passwords that you don’t know.  Don’t allow them to add apps to their devices without asking you first.  Don’t allow them to take their devices to bed with them.  Make them leave them on the dinner table at bed time.  Oh, and we have to keep up with the newest and popular things that the kids are getting into. 

-It takes a village to raise a child.  That saying has never been more realized than in today’s world.  If you are married, then both of you need to be involved in keeping up with what the kids are doing.  And even that might not be enough.  Find others with kids around the same age that you can compare notes with.  Make it a regular discussion, as other parents might know about something you don’t, and vice-versa.

I’m not going to say that I have all the answers in this area…in fact, we’ve failed numerous times already.  That is why I wanted to bring this up in the blog as it’s just about as practical as you can get for any and all parents these days.  And with the kids having even more free time during the summer break….well, let’s just say that they have more opportunity to try things than during the school year.  Problems can happen for any and all of us as parents, and we all need to be aware of what is going on out there in the world.  God will help us in the endeavor, but if we’re not giving it up to Him and try instead to handle it only ourselves, then we’re just opening up our kids for the worst.

Quiet

I’ll be honest with you, I don’t do very well with quiet.  I constantly need to have noise going on around me in order to keep focus.  I know that sounds strange, but it’s the truth.  The more that I have going on around me, the better I’ve always been at focusing on the task at hand.  I almost always have music or a TV show going when I’m working at home, and music or talk radio on at work in order to keep myself going.  If I don’t have that going I can easily lose focus, or even fall asleep.

I don’t know exactly why I’m wired this way, but as far as I can trace it back is to my days playing sports.  You are told by your coaches to tune out everything else and focus on your job.  An athlete is told from an early age to focus on their teammates, the other team, and the coach.  They are to block out everything else.  I think that in order for me to do anything now I’m doing the same thing.

So, how does this issue relate to my Christian walk?  First off, I can’t just sit and read a devotional or the Bible.  I do better when I have music blaring from the speakers which I’m almost completely ignoring.  Instead I’m focused on the book that I’m reading.  I also find myself more focused on God than ever in my life when there is a lot going on in my life.  I tend to make sure there is time for Him, even if it may not seem like it to the rest of the world.

My point this week is that we all have different ways of gaining the focus we want to have on God.  If one method doesn’t work for you, then try something else.  Mine is to have things try to steal my attention, which then keeps me focused.  Maybe for you it’s being in complete silence.  Maybe it’s something in between.  It doesn’t matter how you get focused on God, what matters is that you do find a way.  So look for the method that works best for you.  God bless!

The Good Old Days

Quite often I hear people talking about the good old days.  There are songs and poems written about when life was easier and the times were simpler.

If you ever spend time around people who are old (like Larry Lepard)  you’ll hear them talk about the past very fondly.  They describe all of their accomplishments and how difficult it was to walk to school uphill both ways.  What you don’t often hear is all of the day-to-day struggles that they had in their lives.  You don’t hear about the muscle cramps, roads closed due to construction, and little annoyances that kept them from getting the job done easily.

Why is it that when we look back at the “good old days” we gloss over all the little things that made us struggle?  I think that this is because time gives us perspective.  Sure those little things are a major pain in the butt today, but when we look back at them five years from now we’ll barely even remember them.  Instead we’ll remember the big things that happened.  We’ll remember the first car we owned, not all the money we put into keeping the thing running.  We’ll remember the first person of the opposite sex we kissed, not all those that thought we had cooties. 

The question this week is how often you’ve looked back at the past and found all the ways that God worked in your life.  You’ll easily remember when He put your spouse into your life, when the kids or grandkids were born, etc.  But when you look closely at any specific day, do you see all the small things He's done each and every day?  The friend who called right when you needed someone?  The person who opened the door when your hands were full?  How about the neighbor who put your paper on the step to keep it from getting wet in the thunderstorm?

God shows up each and every day in our lives, and often it’s easy to overlook all the encounters we’ve had.  Now I don’t think God expects us to see every little thing that He does in our lives, and I really don’t think He expects us to remember them ten years from now.  My suggestion to you today is to enjoy the encounters when you do see Him in your life.  Remember that He is always there and always has been before.  

Flossing

I have never been a real lover of flossing.  The traditional rolls of floss were always a pain in the rear and didn’t do the job that well because they required me to put my fat fingers into my mouth and get between all the teeth.  I always felt like it took forever and I never did a great job.  So, I was never much of a remember-to-floss-daily kind of guy. 

That is until the advent of the new floss pick kind of devices.  They are so easy to use, the floss there is strong, and it doesn’t seem to take forever.  Now, I’d never say that flossing was exciting, but these make it easier to do and has made me a regular flosser, as Dr. Colahan says I should be.

I mention flossing because the other day when I was flossing God hit me with a thought.  Anybody can floss when they feel something between their teeth.  However, the regular flossing keeps a person’s teeth clear of the little bits of buildup that their tooth brush can leave behind. 

When I relate that to my spiritual life, the tooth brush is prayer.  I do that daily in order to clean away the garbage from my life.  However, if I want a better cleaning of the sin that can build up in my life, then I have to study God’s word, get into devotionals, and actually live for Him.  Anyone can pray, but a true follower of Christ will do the things every day that are needed to make sure the buildup never happens in the first place.

So, my question for you this week:  Have you flossed lately?