Parenting Fail

As the involved parent that I try to be,  I have the opportunity to spend a lot of time around my kids and their friends.  Now I can honestly say that I don’t know all of them, and I’m not writing this to call anyone out directly.  However, one thing that I’ve noticed a lot in the last year or so is how many parents fail in one area:  monitoring their kids  kids' online lives.

I should note that we have failed in his area of parenting many times as well.  Technology just keeps changing so fast and you think that you’ve trained your kids appropriately, only to find that you didn’t.  It’s amazing how much influence the kid’s friends, media, and technology have on kids these days.

Today, though, I’d like to discuss what I’m finding with many local kids.  Frankly, the majority just have no filter in what they think, say, or write and have no filtering at home.  I can almost guarantee that at least 70% of their parents have no real idea what their kids are up to.  The things that kids post on their own Facebook pages is ridiculous.  I remember when we were kids that even if you cursed you’d never do it around your parents.  Now kids not only talk like that to their friends but post it on FB all the time and text it to one another.  Then you can add all the kids'  phones and iPods and iPhones and the abilities that these devices have.  Most people know that Skype and Facetime have been used by people of all ages for sexual experiences, but did you know people do the same with Snapchat? 

These are just a few of the avenues that kids have these days to do things we would have never thought of when we were children.  I read an article the other day that even FB games that have social aspects have been used for sexting for kids that have parents who monitor their kids!  What about all the kids not being monitored?

It’s a crazy world we live in today, and frankly extremely hard to be a parent today.  Monitoring our children is almost a full-time job.  It used to be that you didn’t have to worry about the kids when they were at your house.  Now you have to worry all the time about what they are doing and what they are getting into, and it’s not easy.  As parents we have to keep up with what's going on with our kids.  We have to lock down their phones and mobile devices and keep an eye on what they're doing.  And even at that it isn’t enough.  Their friends have these devices as well, and most probably aren’t monitored at all by their parents. 

So how do we as parents avoid the fail? 

-First and foremost ,we have to pray.  Pray that God will keep the kids safe and that He’ll guide our kids to become the people He wants them to be.  Pray that our children have a Godly heart and are willing to follow Him instead of the world.  Pray that the kids will be the positive influences that their friends need instead of the other way around.  And pray that they have other positive influences in their lives that will help us filter through all the garbage in the world.

-Secondly, we have to be vigilant with filtering the world’s influence in our children’s lives.  Set up web filters on the computer, check through their texts and social media pages.  Don’t ever allow your kids to have passwords that you don’t know.  Don’t allow them to add apps to their devices without asking you first.  Don’t allow them to take their devices to bed with them.  Make them leave them on the dinner table at bed time.  Oh, and we have to keep up with the newest and popular things that the kids are getting into. 

-It takes a village to raise a child.  That saying has never been more realized than in today’s world.  If you are married, then both of you need to be involved in keeping up with what the kids are doing.  And even that might not be enough.  Find others with kids around the same age that you can compare notes with.  Make it a regular discussion, as other parents might know about something you don’t, and vice-versa.

I’m not going to say that I have all the answers in this area…in fact, we’ve failed numerous times already.  That is why I wanted to bring this up in the blog as it’s just about as practical as you can get for any and all parents these days.  And with the kids having even more free time during the summer break….well, let’s just say that they have more opportunity to try things than during the school year.  Problems can happen for any and all of us as parents, and we all need to be aware of what is going on out there in the world.  God will help us in the endeavor, but if we’re not giving it up to Him and try instead to handle it only ourselves, then we’re just opening up our kids for the worst.